Lu Watters Pronouncements “courtesy of Donna Goodwin"

Pronouncements by Lu Watters
(courtesy of Donna Goodwin)

Put her in a wax museum. They wouldn’t have to do anything -- just hang her up. (National politician ‘s wife.)
Mother Nature is saying:“You don’t know everything yet, boys！”（A puzzling geological mystery)
Cats bore me in ten minutes. I’ll take the wild birds anytime.
He’s not the king pin in the noodle department --a long way from the top rung. (Well-known popular scientist)
I’ve seen a lot of phonies who label themselves too soon.
I’m not fond of hind-sight prophets.
About as modern as a fart out of a four-hundred-year-old pig. (Famous jazz ensemble)
At four o’clock in the morning I was still only in partial gear.
He had to think quite a bit before he figured out whether to put the left foot before the right. (National politician)
They smack their lips as if they’ve come up with something new--things that used to be on cereal boxes in 1902. (Popular TV doctor)
After all, if they hadn’t worked their way up the ladder, we’d still be running around on all fours under logs. (On evolution)
He’s going to sharpen up the hymns with modern harmonies. You don’t do that. He slips in these things. Hymns per se, they have it. Two-bit harmonies to modernize them and you lose everything. He’s tin-eared. (Radio organist)
I asked Wang where Ng was. He shook his head and pointed to the ground. That’s all I remember of that horrible dream.
He got the Businessman’s Dandruff. (Balding Blue Jay)
If he can’t play good--if he’s a rusher--you brush him off the way you’d brush a gnat off a sandwich. Use him as bait for the giant octopus--drop him six hundred feet of the coast of Chile on a dark night. (Bad drummers)
The meal Ma cooked for Pa when he came home drunk.
When you’re dealing on the poor side of the deck you don’t make terms.
It’s hard to find an old-fashioned purely wicked murderer anymore.
As long as you don’t blow your nose too hard, you’ll be alright.
A trip to the Big City? It’s better to keep the disease! (A visit to a doctor)
A congregation of bigots.
He looks as crooked as a screwworm.
The ocean is on the march to Highway One and it doesn’t get discouraged easily.
You shouldn’t make appointments when you’re floating in No Noodle Island.
When it comes down to it, life is really nothing but memories--better make them good ones!

Notes:
All the above lines are by Lu Watters, collected by Donna Goodwin who has been Lu Watters’ companion during his last years living in Cotati, Sonoma, California.